Gardens, Yards, and Landscaping NOT MANscaping

Man Landscaping. A wondrous event with many beautiful possible outcomes. But man is it expensive. So we just bought our first home in September 2018, and it's the perfect starter house. But the front yard and sides are just missing some greenery to really make it pop. So I drew you a nice, completely-to-scale, model of our house and yard.

#accurate

As you can see, the only shrubbery is on the crazy slope. It's not good shrubbery either. I'm removing those fuckers as soon I can. They are those stupid ground covers that look like melted pine trees.

seriously, this shit is the worst

They are pokey and they creep, and add no joy to my yard. Who thought this shit was a good idea? "let's plant something ugly but easy" So instead, I plan on planting butterfly bushes and lilacs. IN ALL THE COLORS

butterfly bushes still cover uneven ground but add color and BUTTERFLIES

Lilac bushes smell AMAZING and remind me of my childhood

I really really REALLY want to pay someone to make the retaining walls on the slope better, but I don't think I can convince Devin to do that. If I was able to have that, it would look so much cleaner, and I could really go to town on smaller plants in the middle and bottom on the crazy slope and have smaller ground cover drape over pretty bricks or rocks. NOT MELTED PINE TREES. 

The backyard, however, I'm pretty okay with not a lot of plantlife other tht what's in my garden boxes (the brown squares on the map) I do want 2 trees in the backyard, one Almond tree in the corner of grass land, and one cherry tree in the corner of chicken land. That way, leftover cherries are eaten by the berbs, and no one freaking touches my precious nuts DEEZ NUTZ ARE MINE.

Here's what I imagine:

ahhh what a cute exterior! 

So now, it's up to my financial advisor (Devin) to see if we can make this yard a reality. I know this is just a drawing, but I think it has a lot of potential to be really amazing.