King Dirtbike Kittan, Terror of the Household

King is our newest cat in our household. In 2017, I got a call from a friend who was unable to keep him because her sister's baby was so allergic that he would swell up like a tomato. I understand allergies, say no more. We were debating on getting a 3rd member because we just love having the cats in our lives and we have the means to take more! Devin and Todd had no idea that we were getting him so my friend and I plotted and planned and made him a secret Christmas gift that would change our lives forever.  We had joked that our next pet would be named Dirtbike, so I went out and got all the essentials that our third member would need.

So chill, bruh

Dirtbike came late, due to transportation complications, so he was a mid-January 2018 surprise! My friends rang the doorbell, left him in a kennel and drove away! What was this? A beautiful long-haired cat in need of a home? His name is Dirtbike? What a coincidence! I just so happen to have all these extra items essential to adopting a new cat!




....it didn't go over too well. I got in trouble for adopting an animal without asking and it didn't count as a gift cause they didn't want him. Well, that was the first day. By day two they were all over him, but the name Dirtbike had to go. Devin settled on King Kittan, the banana gundam from Gurren Langan, but we could shorten it to King for everyone else. Dirtbike became a middle name, and the kick off to so many hilarious alternative nicknames. Princess Dumptruck, Motorbus, and my personal favorite, Dirtbag. King's birthday is January 10th 2015. He's 4! What an old man!

My favorite selfie

Eventually he was accepted into the household.  He was the biggest of our cats by far, a whopping 18 pounds and "not overweight" said the vet. The heaviest was Graybeard at 11 pounds followed closely by Tengu at 10. He was also the snuggly-est. He was always down for some heavy petting and full tummy touches, no fight club. His purr was the loudest, and he wasn't afraid to use it! We adored this monster snuggler.

My 3 sweet babies, all in one place

King, however, is a turd.  He is a true cat in nature, he pushes things off edges when he wants attention and that has resulted in a few broken dishes.  He also is not flexible with feeding time. If we try to sleep in, he will come into our room and find the nosiest thing he can get his paws on. Examples of previous noise makers: trash can liner, large brown shopping bags, rocking the TV by pushing it, the handle of the toys sticks springing like a door stopper, the edge of the stiff carpet slapping the wood floors, the sound of our things sliding off our nightstands, and last but not least, slapping our closed eyes and cheeks. He has now decided that launching himself off of us as he make weird meows is the newest wake up trend.

Another negative trait is that he cannot figure out a way to play wrestle with his siblings with out scaring the ever living piss outta them. It's like David and Goliath, but Goliath is an almost 20 lb cat who wants to play and David just wants to hide. It's not fair to him that the other 2 can wrestle with each other as he watches, unable to join in. (One day buddy, you'll have a big sibling who will love to play back)

Pj's make him look so handsoooome

King recently has started to do the most frustrating thing ever. Potty outside of the litter box. Devin was getting really frustrated. And I was starting to stress out because I don't believe in giving up animals- especially for a bathroom issue. So we took him into the vet last month (February) and learned he has FLUTD or Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease. The lack of liquid in his body makes his pee burn, so he tries to go potty in a spot he thinks will hurt less. Poor baby! Now that we understand why he's being so naughty, it's much easier to forgive him for not using the litter box. My solution has been to put a pee pad down in an empty litter box in the garage, and next to the litter box he kept "missing" in.  And that has worked for the pee capture problem. Pumping him full of liquids has been a challenge. We have been doing an afternoon "snack"- a 92% moisture cat food, hoping that it will help him retain some water. I have also been shooting a non-needled syringe of water in his mouth if I haven't seen him drink from his fountain in a while. Some days it seems like hes doing better, meaning there is less times he's using the pee pads, and other days its the same. We'll figure out the best way to help him. It just takes time.

Have I mentioned how much he likes to run away? Like all the time. You have to cover your body in front of the door as you leave or he will just run out as fast as he can. WHAT? WE'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, BUDDY?!? He really just likes socializing, but we don't believe in outdoor cats, so I guess I have to take him out on adventures more.

pet me hooman, for I enjoy the petties

Some of my favorite things King does is that every night as were settling down for bed, he jumps onto the bed and makes me put him on my chest so I can pet him as he purrs me to sleep. It's gotten to the point where I need him to come and sit on my chest and purr so I can wind down enough to sleep. He also is sooooo good about traveling in the car and being on a harness. We take him to all the stores that allow pets and if we drive through for food, we take him along! He is also a pro at napping. We find him half the time napping in our beds mostly right after someone has gotten up. Spot thief! Have I mentioned his obsession with the shower? Anytime he's not busy napping, and we're showering, he's sitting on the end table in the bathroom, peeking his face around the corner of the curtain, fascinated by the water and where it's coming from. He also loves the sink water and insists that you help guide the water in a more accessible area for him.

Peekaboo!

He also has a special trick. If you pick him up, he makes this groaning huff every time. EVERY TIME. It's my favorite party trick when we've taken him out in public! It's the "you're squishing my guts" noise. He also loves to be held over your shoulder like a new born baby.

Too smart for his own good 

But the most amazing, heart warming thing that he does is in the middle of the night. When he's feeling lonely, He'll climb onto my pillow and press his forehead/nose into my cheek or forehead and purr as loud as he can. I wake up to a happy loving boy and get to run my fingers through his soft fur to comfort him back. When I stop petting because I'm falling asleep again, he nuzzles my face a bit harder to encourage me to keep going. It's the best feeling in the world, and I'm tearing up a bit as I recall how happy it makes me. When he's had his fill, he gets up and leaves-leaving a wet nose (possible drool) mark on my cheek. It's itchy, but it's like a reminder that he visited me.

That's MY spot and MY bear!!

All in all, he's a great addition to our home, and we are so glad he's ours. He's my perfect social butterfly, good with kids and small pets! I'm so glad that the boys opened up to him and now love him almost as much as I do.